What's my Motivation?

What did I do wrong?  Voriel thought, as he paced in his ethereal realm. He had missed the entire encounter with Strahd as he had still been recovering from his display on the square and the subsequent fight. His thoughts were focused largely on what had transpired during his speech.
Less than half of that crowd treated me with the respect I used to command!  Were my words not convincing? Concise enough? Would they have been impressed with six arms? Was I speaking in the language of the heavens and didn’t realize it? That always was a bad habit of mine . . .
The simplest answer he could think of- and the one he did not want to admit- was that he was simply out of practice. How long had it been since he had rallied the forces of heaven to strike against the demons of the abyss? Addressed the throngs of mortals thankful for his intervention? Perhaps he simply needed to brush up on presenting his words of wisdom.
But he had guided Rahsaan for years now- another talk about how cowardice is unflattering wouldn’t help the angel. No, surely there was someone else who could use his guidance. Voriel closed his eyes, and through Rahsaan’s senses picked up that they were currently back in the kingdom of the dwarves- for some reason. He noticed the Aasimar squatting next to hunched form of Izek, the former trying to convince the latter fruitlessly that the hot springs nearby would help both of them.
There’s someone who is in need of direction.
Voriel then opened his eyes, seeing through the eyes of Rahsaan as he took in a breath of the steamy air.
“Hello, Izek.” He said in a voice dissimilar to the Aasimar’s, a perhaps overly-eager smile on his face, “I don’t think I’ve introduced myself. I am Voriel, the angel who has guided your brother since he was separated from you. I see that you are deeply troubled, and would like to offer my council. Please, share your burdens.”

Izek sat in the steampool his arms still gripping his sides tightly as he slowly rocked back and forwards seemingly oblivious to anything his newfound brother said.

As Voriel spoke Izek turned to look at him. “Must be nice to have an angel watching out for you, a good force of light to defend you from darkness...but I wouldn’t know. The only person that’s ever looked out for me, who’s ever offered me aid—I am told was run through by your spear.”

“I have no doubts that the Baron was an imperfect man. I know he had flaws. But answer me this, in a town literally overrun by nightmarish creatures, and the presence of the literal devil himself ...why does the man who saved me fed me and gave me a home...why does his blood lay pooling on the ground, but the devil still walks free?”

Izek’s gaze turned angrier, “What did he do that I haven’t done worse? I literally let the devil into the only possible place we had to be safe...every guard or person who managed to survive long enough to make it to the church...all their blood is on my hands. The city I was tasked to protect burns to the ground because I was weak. Why am I alive when the man I swore to protect is dead? Why did you kill him but let me live?”

Izek struggles to stand up as he grabs Voriel’s shoulders, “Kill me! My soul is damned a hundred times over! Let me die at the hands of an angel...”

How did I ever doubt you were Rahsaan's brother . . .

Voriel locked eyes with the irate man, his gaze intense but he made no threatening gestures. "The Baron had cast his lot. Everything he did was not to protect Valalki, was not to protect you- it was to appease Strahd. The second the devil raised a hand, he allowed others to die in his place. That is not the decree of a benevolent ruler, it's the ravings of a corrupt tyrant. He may had shown you his brand of mercy as you served him, but he killed anyone who may have threatened his rule. You say he saved you, but I saw this kind of wickedness throughout Nova Vaasa, to manipulate you into servitude."

He then added, "You did not willingly allow Strahd into the church. Anyone could see you were not well, that he had gotten into your mind to fulfill his dark purpose. But the remorse you feel- that shows me he has not corrupted you, that you are not lost. Know this, Izek: you do not deserve death. You deserve a chance to strike down the devil."

While Voriel kept a firm expression, he still could not help but realize he was looking at what Rahsaan so easily could have become. He did soften his eyes and he said, "I understand not being able to save the ones you care about. But believe me when I say the worst thing you can do is give up the fight."

Izek was flabbergasted, “You make it sound so easy! Sure just shrug off every thing. ‘It’s fine-it wasn’t you it was the devil’...” Izek just blinked. “Do you have no heart? Regardless of whether or not it was me in charge-my voice...my hands...those people are still dead! They aren’t just nobodies. I knew them all. I knew their families.”

He shakes his head, “You claim that the baron showed me mercy only because I served him...how are you any different? Do you expect me to believe you don’t only show mercy to Rahsaan because he serves your needs? Everyone uses everybody- It’s just a matter of when and where.”

“WHY DID YOU KILL THE BARON AND NOT STRAHD? There’s no way you can tell me the Baron was worse!”

"It is easy for me to say it is not your fault, but if you are not going to admit it, than it had to be said." Voriel replied. His tone stayed calm in face of the increased resistance coming from Izek. "I am not saying you cannot feel terrible for what happened to the townsfolk, but you cannot let it consume you to the point where you wish to be among them."

When Izek asks how he is different, Voriel actually gave a slight chuckle, "The differences between the Baron and I could fill a valley, but do you think the Baron would care about you at all if you didn't serve him? If he couldn't find a use for a half-frozen orphan in the woods? Rahsaan does not listen to half the things I suggest, he disagrees with me constantly- but that doesn't mean I just abandon him, nor do I force him to do what I think is best or threaten him. I lead by example because I want to see Rahsaan to learn his own lessons and become the best version of himself. And that's something that rarely happens through subjugation."

He crossed his arms, looking thoughtful "That is a fair concern regarding why I did not challenge Strahd. And the truest answer I can give is . . . I cannot. Neither myself nor Rahsaan is strong enough given the power he commands. But I sense that will not be true forever, and we will get the chance to avenge Ireena and everyone else Strahd took from us."

He then added, "And ignoring what I want, I know Rahsaan would be very upset to see you go. You should also know he took the blow aimed for you when Strahd took hold of his companions, and healed your wounds over his own."

Instead of Izek calming down, the words of Voriel seemed to have the opposite effect. “YOU KILLED THE BARON SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU COULD!?! How is that different from anything you hold the baron accountable for?! ‘Oh the Devil is too much for me-a damn ANGEL!!!—but this other guy who’s got even less of a chance to resist the devil-he’s gotta die! Do you even hear yourself?!”

At the angels latter words, Izek returned to his crying, and his words were screams of despair, “Y-You mean t-tell m-me that in addition to the towns people dying, whose blood is on my hands, my baby brother almost died because of me too? Oh gods!! Just put me out of my misery! I don’t want to live with this any more! Why didn’t you just let me die?!”

“Look at the choices made.”

“The Baron made the choice to save himself and abandon Villaki in its hour of need. The only life one can sacrifice is their own. Letting, or worse, forcing others to die in his stead is not just cowardice, but evil. If there was any chance of saving his soul, I would have done so. But abandoning his people on the square- that was no innocent mistake. He had sold his soul.”

“You Izek, did not have a choice. Why do you think Strahd chose to charm you to call him in? It’s because Rahsaan wouldn’t think twice about getting you to safely. Your brother actually managed to subdue you so you couldn’t allow Strahd to enter, but through the devil’s handiwork, the Paladin attacked the two of you and forced Rahsaan to flee, finally allowing  Strahd access. This was no wicked act on your part. The devil had set the board, and you were merely a pawn.”

“And Rahsaan chose to save you because he cares about you. And if he has anything to say about it, is not about to let the devil have the family he just recently found. As much as it might hurt.”

“And I chose not to attack Strahd because sure I might have gotten a few solid hits in, but all he would have had to do is kill Rahsaan, and then I will never get the chance to thwart the devil. I am not going to sacrifice the boy just so I can say I stood against Strahd. Putting others lives before your own is not something a leader is supposed to do.”

“And I choose not to kill you, Izek, because I know you do not deserve death. You deserve the chance to reach your potential.”

Izek still sobbing said, “Do you know why the baron had the festivals so often? They were things the people believed kept the devil away. Did you know the baron himself made sure the festival never cost the town any money? He paid for it all himself. His father was a terrible man who taxed the people nearly to the breaking point, and routinely killed by the hundreds. Do you know who killed him? The baron..”

The man wipes tears away in a futile gesture. “You met him a grand total of one time for a matter of moments, and based on that and the fact that he got scared when faced with the armies of the Devil-you killed him. I don’t know what all Rahsaan has been through, but the baron grew up hard and he still managed to make good choices and he didn’t have an angel to help him. But you were wrong. The baron deserved a chance. Being an angel doesn’t make you right. The Baron was a man who did what he had to do to keep Strahd from hurting the town. He at least tried to fight the devil...what did you do hmm?”

Voriel took in a deep breath as if preparing a long winded response, but instead his eyes widened as he snapped his fingers.
“Of course, why didn’t I think of it earlier! I’m assuming your mortal perceptions are being skewed by the  one person who showed you a lick of  kindness. If you allow, you can show me the times when the Baron was the nurturing man you remember him to be. It doesn’t have to be anything too private.”

He glanced down, and then met Izek’s eyes again, “Even if that’s kind of moot at this point. But still, if you can show me that I did make a mistake, that the Baron was a victim killed unjustly, than I will do everything I can to undo it.”

He held out his hand, “What do you say?”

Izek stopped crying, “You can’t bring him back, because if you could you would have brought the rest of the town back...”

He looks at the offered hand, “But if you will see him correctly then I guess I have to show you.”
The sad man grips the Angels hand and begins replaying every mental scene he could he recall involving the Baron.

Voriel let out a gasp of pain after the memories had played out. He had felt curious at first, as perhaps the Baron was not the monster he thought he was. Only to be increasingly angered as the acts of cruelty grew, eventually reaching the execution of innocents. After a few seconds he released Izek’s hand and said ,

“I didn’t kill the Baron. He died years ago.”

His eyes turned sympathetic, “Come now, Izek. While I am glad he found you in those woods and nursed you to health, he had many chances to resist the pressure and temptations from his father and wife. And I am impressed you managed to still see the good in him after all he had done. The gods know we can use more men like that.”

He sighed, “But after he had threatened Aspen and our friends in the stocks after only a few hours knowing him, do you see how we could not see him as anything but a tyrant?”

His voice raises, not in anger but in passion, “But I also can see how you feel so lost, losing the one person who ever showed you kindness in a world that ridiculed and tormented you. You feel as if you have nothing left.   But you don’t give yourself enough credit. You still stood up to the Baron and knew to do what was right. You are stronger than you think. And trust me when I say failure can hurt. But living isn’t about avoiding pain, it’s about not let letting it define you.”

Remembering the scorching pain during the memories, he asks, “And speaking of pain, are you always that uncomfortably hot? Or was that just me?”

“...living isn’t about avoiding pain, it’s about not let letting it define you.”

The words seem to echo in Izek’s mind. He reached out mentally to grab hold of each syllable to store it away.
He brought his focus back to the present, “I understand. He wasn’t always the way you all saw him in the end, but you are right. Maybe he died a long time ago. The real man, the one who saved me. You just stopped his body from moving. I understand.”

The man wiped away his tears. “I am done crying. I have cried for me and my parents. I cried for my brother. I cried for my friends. I have cried for my town, and my savior. I am done crying.” Izek seemed to start to return to himself. “Rahsaan is lucky you found him. I envy him. Thanks.”
Izek clears his throat, “The question I gotta answer now though is-What do I do now? Where do I go?”

At Voriels question Izek looked surprised, “Yeah-I always feel a little warm.”

Voriel gave a big, genuine smile seeing Izek break through the fog of misery that had surrounded him. "Perhaps, I found Rahsaan so I could find you, Izek. I don't think this was a mere coincidence your brother was whisked away to the place where I languished. It was as if we were meant to find one another."

His smile does diminish slightly, studying Izek as he paced around him, "Though you are his brother, you don't actually have any celestial blood in you. I thought for certain it had something to do with your parents but that can't be the case, can it? Unless your mother had wings or your father spoke in tongues."  

He stopped behind Izek,  "Though if it wasn't a coincidence, then who's will was it?"

He scratched his chin, then suddenly remembered that he had been asked a question. "Oh! Right! You have a few options I can think of. There are still survivors in Villaki, even if there are not as many as any of us would like. They will need help through these trying times, and as Captain, I do feel as you would be the best qualified to rally them and keep them safe. Whether you chose to rebuild or relocate is up to you, but I think it is wise to stay together as much as possible in these treacherous lands."

He then said, "I know Rahsaan did not want to see you go so soon, so another option could be you could travel with us for now, and if we find a place that suits your fancy you can stay and make a new life there."

He gestured around, "Actually, these dwarves are surprisingly accommodating to outsiders as you have probably noticed. If you had a secret desire for metal working, hey now's your chance. They are on the move to Cresik though, so you'd be relocating in that case, too."

Izek considered the idea of Voriel being coincidentally sent to him, “No my luck isn’t that good.”

“Regarding my parents, the only thing I know for certain is that they evidently messed around with bad magic.” He gestured to his arm. “But it has its uses.”

Izek considered leading the Villaki survivors. “They might accept me but I have no money and no political favor to use to help get a town up and running. Maybe I could...no that’s insane...”

He looks to the mountains in the distance and then to the woods to the south. “This feels like a long shot but there’s supposed to be a ranger post nearby. Do you have any divine favors you could promise the Rangers as reward or encouragement to help me rebuild the city? Maybe after everything that’s happened the townspeople would even let the Vistani help...”

In response to Izek’s inquiry, Voriel says “I suppose the encouragement they could use is the fact that if Vallaki is no more, than they would probably lose a fair amount of business as there’d be less travel in the area. Maybe they’d be impressed with a message from Ezra, but hunters aren’t exactly the most religious in my experience. At least not toward those wanting to rebuild a town.”

“Now with the Vistani we may have some pull. We saved one of their children from being eaten by a monster in the lake and rooted out an evil man who had aligned with Strahd. I cannot guarantee we can secure their assistance, but we can try. If you have decided to rebuild Vallaki, I will help however I can.”

Voriel seemed to be about to add something else about Izek's plan, but then turned inquisitive again. If Rahsaan's parents had dabbled in strange magic, and even if he turned out to have angelic blood, what was the chance of the opposite just happened to Izek?

Voriel then recalled the strange whispers that he began to hear just outside of Vallaki . . . .

Trying to keep his tone causal, he said, "So growing up, or just anytime really, did you ever have strange dreams? Prophetic? Particularly eerie? Intense nightmares? Anything like that?"

Izek readily nods, “Yes any help you can offer I will gladly take. The Vistani are likely going to be suspicious if any Villakian starts being nice randomly...and I think I would like to try rebuilding the town. Maybe not as big as it was but enough to keep the wolves at bay.”

At the unusual questions Izek tilted his head and hesitantly said, “Y-yes....sometimes they were otherworldly, other times they were so real that I woke up hurting. Why?”

Voriel did not reply to Izek. He instead stared blankly ahead. Dreams were how Voriel was first able to speak with Rahsaan. That, coupled by his power to conjure flame worried the angel.  But what was he supposed to say to him?
I think you are being haunted by a demonic entity.
After all he had said to try and rouse his spirits-to give him purpose again? What if that made it worse, alerting any potential fiend that he was aware of it?
But was doing nothing worse? If Izek was rebuilding Vallaki, could this creature be given free reign once he and the others had continued on their way.

Rahsaan gave him a mental nudge to return him to the present. The angel gave a smile that he certainly hoped was real enough as he said, "Oh, it's just that Rahsaan had those when he was younger. Must run in the family. If you have any particularly dark, dreary, murderous or blasphemous ones just . . . ignore them. They're not real."

Perhaps to try and change the fact that he brought it up, he says, "Ah, but Rahsaan reminded me. We do actually have pull with the rangers you mentioned earlier. The Black Oak Company actually helped us into Vallaki after the lockdown, but they were interested in allowing our band to join them."

His could not help as his tone turned more serious as he said, "While the church was still largely intact, you may want to get that repaired first. And fast."

At Voriel’s delayed response Izek furrowed his eyebrows. “There’s something you aren’t telling me. Don’t lie to me angel-what is it?”

When he tried changing the subject Izek doubled down, “What is it?” A tinge of fear in his voice.

And at the last comment about repairing the church Izek hissed, “You ARE not telling me something! There’s no point in making that church-Strahd walked right into it and Rahsaans friends looted it for anything valuable! The only reason you want me to fix it is because you think there’s something else wrong with me isn’t it?! You an angel don’t even trust me! And you would have me look like a fool-going up to the survivors and expecting they’d listen to anything I said....this has all been some sick kind of game to you hasn’t it?! Building me up just so you can destroy me again! I can’t believe I let myself for a moment forget that Everybody uses Everybody. I thought maybe angels were different...guess I was wrong...either that or you’re no angel.”

The angel thought hard about his response. Maybe he was giving the wrong advice. Rebuilding a city, taking leadership and being the beacon of hope for the survivors? He was aiming too high, and risked crushing the man under the weight. Voriel’s reasoning didn’t bring him to shore- he just lifted the drowning man’s head above water. And the more Izek struggled, he risked dragged them both down . . .

“The reason I suggested rebuilding the church is although yes it’s artifacts were taken, it would still be a symbol of hope for the faithful to rally around. That they refuse to crumble and bow to the will of the devil and the forces that dare oppose them.”

He took Izek by the shoulder, “I am concerned for you, Izek. Though I have realized I must be transparent, and trying to hide my concern is of no use to you. Speaking in dreams is how I first appeared to Rahsaan. I am worried your arm is not just a curse from your parents foolishness- it is that you may attract the attention of a demonic entity. Especially with how vulnerable you are right now emotionally and . . . Well, you’re a mortal your are always going to be vulnerable physically. But their influence is limited where the faithful flourish. ”

He stepped back and said, “I may be asking too much if you. It is a tall order to try and resurrect this city. I should let you stand on your own feet before asking you to raise up others.”

He gave a smile, “But please, if you have other concerns share them. I do not want to hide anything from you.”

When Voriel laid his hand on Izek’s shoulder, Voriel’s hand was enveloped in a pale light blue flame that felt scorchingly hot but yet did not burn him...nor did it let his hand go.
When Izek next spoke, his voice had a completely different tone and feel. When he turned to face the angel a burning inferno blazed behind Izek’s eyes and commanded authority.
“You presume much...Divine Messenger. To be birthed anew requires destruction and for the ruined to be reduced to ash. The cleansing flames remove the weak and refines strength as chafe in the weeds. Your interventions and machinations have interrupted the cycle. You-Messenger, would know this if you were in your proper place but you have fallen. This mortal shell has served its purpose well but it’s time has passed. The great leech that controls the wind and storm and plagues the living with defilement must be brought low that order and justice return.”

Voriel gritted his teeth and formed a fist with his free hand, before he let out a gasp of surprise. The flames he touched were not the fires of hell or the abyss- these flames had an unnatural purity and beauty about them. His posture relaxed ever so slightly as he said,
"At least I was wrong about the man being demon possessed, but how did a creature like you end up in these parts?"

Upon being called fallen, he said, "And were you the one taunting me and Mahlajai this whole time?" '

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Noticing the bizarre voice his brother now spoke in, Rahsaan was no longer able to just stand idly by. Though he did not have control of his body, he reached out with his mind, "Izek! Are you okay? What is going on? Voriel seems to know but I do not!"

The strange voice did not reply initially, but after a moment it spoke again. “I know not of what or whom you speak. This is the first you have spoken to me. I am no abyssal spawn or creature of darkness. I bring light and order, knowledge and new beginnings...I dare say I am here because of you. I am but an ember of true flame. But why are you Messenger- out of favor with your master? Though these lands could use more of your presence you are not meant for this realm.”


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In response to Rahsaan’s concerns, he gets back a raspy reply, “Uh...Rahsaan, something feels weird. I’m not in any pain, but I feel different...better. Thirsty. Really thirsty.”

Voriel raised an eyebrow as his studied the sight before him. He could have sworn that the voice now sounded feminine, creating a dissonance coming out of Izek. He then replied. “I don’t see how I did anything for you. I am curious how you are attached to this man. I am bound to this mortal,” he gestured to himself, “as he shares the blood of my kind.”

To further add he says, “I am more than a mere messenger, phoenix. Not to gloat, but my own divine fire may rival your own. It is bold of you to claim I am out of favor with my master.”

He then said reluctantly,  “Unless you know something about him that I don’t.”

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Rahsaan reaches out again and said, “Just hold tight. I think some sort of spirit is speaking through you like how Voriel can speak through me if I let him. If I did not know better, they seem to know one another. Though they are not fighting. Right now, at least ”

He then adds, “So wait, you did not know about her?”

Ember pointed over Izek’s shoulder without looking, “The settlement this shell called its nest burned to ashes. The passion felt by this shell in the last few hours was enough to awaken me. I have always been within it but dormant...awaiting my proper time, whence from ashes we rise. I too am one with this shell. The reason for why we are joined is due to blood magic...beyond that I do not know.”

At Voriel’s second comment the Phoenix blinked. “It is not bold. It is fact. It is truth. It is known. You and another have left service of your master. You have fallen from your station. You have wasted POTENTIAL . You are no longer in favor with your master.”

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Izek coughs once. “Right. Just normal every day possession. First the devil taps my brain and now I’m either possessed or dreaming. Great.”

At first Voriel actually rolled his eyes,  "I thought your type were all about acquiring forbidden knowledge. Though if you have been asleep for the past however long  I suppose that makes . . ." His eyes opened wide,  "WAIT, ANOTHER?!

He composed himself and said, "As much as I may disagree with being 'fallen', someone I know went missing after I arrived here in the mists. I think it is valuable to know who they are so that I may recovery some of my memories.  Please, tell me all you know about this other angel!"

He clears his throat and adds in a genuinely respectful tone, "Madame."

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"Do not think of it as possession." Rahsaan said, "I do not think of it as such, at any rate. If you wanted to, I am fairly certain you could end this. The question is, do you want it to?"