Over Her Head

Eylylyn was glad to be getting back into the familiar routine of setting up camp. Though magic generally made everything in life easier, and certain spells were certainly tailored for domestic life, she found comfort in the routine of preparing the fire and cookware for supper. Busying herself magicking away grime and repairing a cracked pot that'd taken a tumble during the flight from the town square she soon found herself lost in the familiar rhythm of preparation, drifting off in thought as her hands knew the steps to take.

Pain. Awful pain.

Laughter, mad and evil, mixed with uncontrolled sobbing. None of it her own, but she felt every bit of it as the blackness crept up her arms.

She shook her head and rose out of the reverie. She could still hear that mad laughter and sobbing in the back of her mind and knew that the source of it was only a moment's will away. Looking down at her right hand she saw that it was shaking. The nail on her right ring finger was completely black. It had been since she'd first noticed it when leaving the church. It didn't hurt. Indeed she felt physically better than she had in days. She could mask it with magic but couldn't wash it away. A parting gift from the staff that she only now understood was not entirely under her control. She swallowed down some bile as it rose up, clenching her fist to control the renewed shaking.

No. That's not me. I can control it. I'm a wizard! All forces follow the same basic rules. I just don't know what the Blackstaff's rules are yet. So, logically I need to find out what they are. Where to start though?

She thought for a moment, going through her small inventory of reference books and coming up with nothing useful. She'd never heard of an instrument like this aside from some few such magical contrivances in children's stories, but such things could hardly be used as a basis for real understanding. The thought of children reminded her of Mahlajai, though, and his reaction upon seeing the Blackstaff.

"Mahlajai, you and I need to talk. What do you know of the Blackstaff?"

Mahlajai hopped down from Eylylyn’s shoulder still in his blue feathered bird form. He had been unusually quiet since the ordeal with Strahd.
He landed lightly on the ground before reverting to the form of a frail old man with blueish-purple hair.
“I agree. We should talk.”

The old man folded his hands together. “I have to wonder why and how exactly you came into possession of that thing.”

“I have a rather intimate knowledge of this so called Blackstaff.”

"Well I got it from a Dwarf priest who seemed rather intent on insulting me. He was handing out gifts to the rest of the party after the Battle underground and initially snubbed me."

She put down her dishes and face her full attention to the Djinn.

"If I see that priest again, I'm likely to give him a demonstration in how real magic works. I'm fairly sure he was trying to kill me now, or at least had some idea of the things treacherous nature."

The djinn remained unreadable but listened as the wizard explained her history with the item.
“I see.”

There is a long pause before he continued. “You are very bright Eylylyn. I am not implying you are anything less. I will even grant that you likely had no way of knowing that the ‘Blackstaff’ would go to that extreme, but do you really expect me to believe that you-who have considerable dealings with magic, did not know that there is a cost of risk for any powerful magic?”

He arched a fuzzy eyebrow, “I know you are able to feel and see magic when you concentrate. I would even guess that when you first received this you looked it over. Did it not nearly overtake you when you first grasped it...did that not clue you in to it’s danger?”

Mahlajai shook his head. “Or when you heard it’s voice and saw my reaction to it? Again-maybe you didn’t fully know what it would do but you had to have an idea that something was wrong.”

The djinn looks away as he says, “I want to help you, I want to keep you safe, but I can’t shield you from yourself. I can’t fight the war you now have with that thing. I have tried. And make no mistake-you are at war with it. It has woven itself into your magic. You have shared your desires. You have willingly used it to cause pain and death. The pact is forged. You can’t break it without giving up magic. You are strong. You might be able to resist it’s pull for awhile, but eventually it will drive you to use it again and again.”

The old man hung his head, “The worst part is, unless I leave you, I feed it. It eats magic. If you aren’t actively putting yourself in a position where you are fighting other magic users it will eat at your own magical stores. It forces you to become an addict.”

The wizard absorbs that for a moment, at a loss for words. Then she bursts into a wide grin and loud laugh

"Mahlahai, you shouldn't joke about something like this! Im being serious!"

At the grave look in the Djinns eyes the laughter dies out and her face goes pale as a sheet.

"It... It can't be as bad as all that! If have read about such a terrible tool! Surely something like that would make it's mark on the world?"

The mad cackling in her mind turned into a feral snarl. She walled it away in a dark corner just as the snarl turned into a sob.

"But there's more to it than that even. There's a second aspect Tonite, one that doesn't relish killing. I don't know if it's any less insane, but it seems less... Sinister?"

She considers for a long moment, then nods, speaking to herself.

"Maybe that's the key. I can control it, I just have to find a way to bring that personality to the fore..."

Mahlajai hangs his head. “That’s how it hooked you. Eylylyn-the staff is evil, all of it. It corrupts people by making it seem like there’s a chance for it to be redeemed. It’s like a twin fanged serpent-one bites you causing pain while the other offers to take the pain away...by poisoning you to death.”

“The staff serves no one. Not sure if it ever did.” Mahlajai spits. “It’s last pawn was one of the ones who imprisoned me. I made sure he was reduced to nothing but his staff was not destroyed. It now claims you.”